Resistance & The Salvation of Softness
Resistance is resolved through becoming unnecessary.
— Moshe Feldenkrais, The Potent Self
Have you ever had a moment of subtle resistance? Well, of course, we all have. Here is a little trick I learned while exploring Awareness Through Movement® and again while sitting on my cushion. It has helped me in just about everything I do.
Recently I noticed I was reluctant to start dinner. Strange. I love to cook. I love to eat. I have a big beautiful box of fresh veggies from my local CSA. So, why on earth was I resisting this?
I paused.
I noticed that I was furrowing my brow and experiencing this tightness in my chest, shoulders, and neck. And all this tightness was seeping right into my attitude. My mind even felt tight.
I thought about it and took a bit of a ‘Feldie’ approach to see if I could find at least three choices. Here are a few of the options I came up with:
I could choose not to cook because I wasn’t enjoying it.
I could push myself through it because I ‘knew’ it was good for me, even though I disliked it at the moment.
I could let go of the tightness.
Now, I have to admit that my first compulsion was to choose #1. But, in the blink of an instant, I was reminded of the quote below. At that moment, I was instantly swept away by the beauty of development.
So, I returned to the moment. And it hit me — tension can be a lot like the grasping reflex: a simple response where I contract against a stimulus, be it a thought or a moment. So, I chose to grow my learning and let go of the tightness.
It was awesome!
“The infant may make a fist and then carefully open it again – or take hold of one hand with the other. This can go on every day for long hours, for weeks or even months... Letting go is more difficult. That has to be learned separately. The infant often strives for weeks until he has mastered the movement of letting go easily and reliably.”
I just noticed where the tightness was, and then chose to let it soften. I noticed my breath and chose to let it deepen. I felt my connection with the floor and open up to more support. What was left was a more relaxed body and an even more relaxed mind.
In the end, it was the shift in my attitude that ended up being the most important. I could now approach cooking with a sense of ease, a hint of exploration, and a bit of happiness — all of which I couldn't do when I was tight. So then I smiled, did a little happy dance, and things got even better.
So I started applying that to everything I did: while writing this blog post. I noticed tightness, I let go of the tightness and smiled — and the writing became instantly more enjoyable. Yay!
Every moment became instantly better.
What I later realized, was that I didn't dive into why such resistance. Although sometimes insight is delicious. Sometimes, it simply isn't necessary. So rather than pondering the 'whys' of why something I love is bringing me tension, I chose to shift my attention to my sensation and free my body to free my mind. In doing so, the resistance melted away like coconut oil at 76°F.
A Few Tricks for letting go
Notice the tightness.
Ask yourself if it is necessary. If not, let it go. You can give this attention to the body and your mind. You have periods during the day where you can be mindful: work, driving, walking, reading, cleaning, talking, biking, etc.
Breathe.
Let your attention stay on this breath and notice where you move as you breathe in and as you breathe out. Between you inhale and exhale, pause your breath and wait for the urge to breathe again. Explore for a few breaths or a few minutes.
Most importantly…
Feel your connections.
One of your oldest and dearest support systems is always with you—gravity. From time-to-time, allow yourself to be fully supported by mother earth or anything you are in contact with (chair, bed, floor, another living being, etc.).
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